a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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