Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
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