Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
