so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
