You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
