How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize