well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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