I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
