i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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