Sponge bath it is.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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