I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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