blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
