Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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