After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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