my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Randomize
