i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
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he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
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I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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