You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
