Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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