Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize