that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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