What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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