no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
