But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
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he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
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I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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