She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I have feelings that need drinking.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
