dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
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Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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