I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize