She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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