Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
