Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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