you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
