And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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