I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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