Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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