Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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