So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
