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Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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