but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
