The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
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How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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