So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Fuck me I smell like cheese
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
