yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
