well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
