ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
