At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I think your dad took our porno
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
