Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
