I hate your face
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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