Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
