I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
