Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
