I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
