Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
