TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
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She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
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You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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