doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Can I color on your dick again?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
