cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm at about main and main street
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
