i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
