i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Are we still banned from the library?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I deserve to be covered in dicks
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
