One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
