He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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