chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
